Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize