My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
