She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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