The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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