Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
