I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He passed out mid-signature
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
