You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're a waste of cheezeits
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
