I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I FOUND THE LEGS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
