Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
