Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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