Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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