I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize