yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
