is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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