you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
