i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize