2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
