Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
