think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
