he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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