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you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
