Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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