Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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