omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
