The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
