I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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