as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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