wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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