Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
