pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
