My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
