What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
