I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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