New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
