i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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