there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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