so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
