Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
