just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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