The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
