girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The convent might be a nice break from real life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
