carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
