We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
