i barfeds in our rink
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
