I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You ate ashes out of my bong
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
