Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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