We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
