Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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