All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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