woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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