im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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