what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
