Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize