using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
