I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Randomize