Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
