she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
