As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
