My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
sarcasm needs its own font
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize