At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
