I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
They took my balls.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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