I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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